Bilal Assad – The story of the 3 trapped men
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of honesty and sincerity in Islam, as it is the only ones who can justify actions and commit crimes. They emphasize the need for respect and balancing children rights when it comes to relationships, and emphasize the importance of avoiding embarrassment and practicing consistency in one's actions. The speakers also emphasize the importance of practicing sincerity and not giving up on user actions and their role in gathering with friends and being part of a larger group. They stress the need for people to trust their intentions and avoid false rumors, and emphasize the importance of practicing consistency and not giving up on user actions and their role in gathering with friends and being part of a larger group.
AI: Summary ©
So the topic today insha'Allah ta'ala
is about the story of three men who
got trapped in a cave.
Before we do it, this goes under the
heading in a book called Riyad al-Saliheen
by Imam al-Nawawi, hadith number 12 on
page 22.
And it's about sincerity of the heart and
the honesty of our actions.
Sincerity of the heart and the honesty of
our actions.
My brothers and sisters, please listen to this
very carefully because I'm going to talk about
sensitive topics today that will involve a lot
of young and older people insha'Allah.
Three main areas that we need to learn
in our lives.
But before we talk about the three main
areas, they are all based on something called
Ikhlas, which means the heart's absolute sincerity, honesty.
Any action that we do will not be
accepted by Allah unless it is honest and
sincere.
The actions that are acts of worship.
And you can change any act in life
if it's not an act of worship.
Say for example, it's not salah, it's not
fasting, it's not charity.
Just a normal act in your day-to
-day life.
You have the power by the will of
Allah to change it into an act of
worship.
An act that rewards you for.
Sometimes you might be walking and find an
ant colony.
You move away from the ant colony for
the sake of Allah, it becomes an act
of worship.
You know eating Bismillah becomes an act of
worship.
You're about to do something haram, the shaitan
comes and whispers to you and you say
to yourself, you remember how far, you remember
the day of judgment, you remember Allah, you
remember what you're going to miss out on.
And then you say, I fear Allah and
move away.
Now moving away becomes an act of worship.
There are so many examples.
So none of our deeds can be accepted
or weigh anything with Allah if our hearts
are not honest about it.
And I quote to you a verse from
Surah Al-Hijr where a conversation happens between
Iblis to Allah and a big debate occurs
when Iblis gets jealous and envious of Adam
and he disbelieves.
He becomes arrogant against Allah and boastful.
So Allah talks about it that Iblis says
the following words.
He wants to get us back.
He wants to get Adam and Eve's children
back for no reason.
We didn't do anything to him.
But that's the heart of a person who
turns, who becomes arrogant, who becomes boastful, who
thinks that the whole world is to bow
to them.
That Iblis even with Allah himself, Iblis said,
no, this is not fair.
I'm not going to bow to Adam.
I don't care if you told me, I
don't care if the entire angels and all
the heavens bow to this man.
I will not bow because I'm better than
him.
It's not fair.
So he disbelieved in Allah's fairness and justice.
So what does he say to Allah, to
his Lord?
He says, I
will not adorn them in the land nor
will I mislead them all except Your servants
among them who are sincere.
He said, this is a straight path for
me.
Indeed, my servants, you have no authority over
them.
So the meanings of these verses are very
important.
Iblis said, he said, oh my Lord, because
of this situation that you put me in
and made me go astray, you turned me
into this freak.
That's basically what he's saying.
Because of this situation, you put me in
and made me as a result go astray.
I will therefore decorate this entire earth, everything,
all the material world, I'm going to decorate
it to them.
Who's them?
The children of Adam.
He was so arrogant that he doesn't even
want to say our name.
He doesn't want to see his children.
He said, I will delude all of them.
What's them?
Those insignificant beings that don't even deserve to
be mentioned on my tongue.
That's what Iblis said.
I will lead them all astray by decorating
all this material world to them.
Everything that will serve their desires and I'll
make it appear so beautiful.
So beautiful, so amazing, so alluring.
And I will also lead them all astray.
Just as you led me astray, I'm going
to lead them astray.
Completely.
And then Iblis notices that there's one thing
he's got no power over.
So he says it.
He says, yeah, except your worshippers who are
sincere and honest.
Except your worshippers among them who are sincere
and honest.
So he knows.
He knows he cannot have control over the
worshippers of Allah.
Not all of them.
He can have power over the worshippers of
Allah.
He says, meaning among them.
There are people who say, I'm Muslim.
I believe in Allah, but they're not sincere.
And there are groups who say, I believe
in Allah and they worship Allah, but they
are sincere and honest in their heart.
They don't do it to show off.
They don't do it to boast.
They don't do it for a gain of
any sort of materialism, only for the sake
of Allah.
So Iblis says, I will not be able
to lead those worshippers among them who are
sincere and honest astray.
I won't have any power over them.
Then Allah replies and he says, that is
my straight path.
What is the straight path?
The straight path is when you do acts
of worship, you do it with honesty and
sincerity only for the sake of Allah and
not associating partners with Him.
Allah says, that's my straight path.
There is no other path than that.
You want to do it for any other
reason.
It is not my path.
Allah says, it won't bring you to me.
That is my straight path like that.
And then he says, my true servants, you
will never have any power over them, except
those among my servants who also follow you.
They will also go astray like you.
Okay, so it's our choice.
Who do you want to follow?
Allah or Iblis, the Shaitan?
And notice that the Iblis, he says, you
made me go astray.
Did Allah make Iblis go astray?
Did he go up into his heart and
change his heart and say, you're going to
go into the hellfire?
No, Allah doesn't do that to people.
It was Iblis' choice.
But you know when a person is so
blinded and they're so angry because of their
selfish, boastful desires, they think they're everything.
Everyone around them is bad, except them.
Everyone around them is the oppressor and they're
the victim.
Even if he sells you drugs, somehow he
can justify that he's the victim.
Even if he gets caught out and goes
to prison, somehow they'll still say they were
the ones wronged, even if it's 100%
them in the wrong.
And that's the nature of the human beings
that Shaitan knows about us.
He will go to your pleasures and say,
I've got them.
I'm going to trick them.
I know how to exactly make them believe
that they're the victims.
Everyone around them is wrong.
Their parents are wrong.
Their wife and husband is wrong.
Their children are wrong.
Their teachers are wrong.
The imam is wrong.
The people are wrong.
Stop this whole world.
The whole world is against you and you
are the only one that the whole world
is against.
That's what the Shaitan does to you until
you turn into a psychopath.
That's what the Shaitan wants.
But he won't stop there.
He wants you to go to hellfire.
He'll come up to you and say your
sexual desires, get a girlfriend, get a boyfriend,
become an abominable * maniac.
And the Shaitan will come and somehow justify
it to you that you are experiencing true
love that Allah loves somehow.
Somehow you're connected to God.
He'll make you connected to God.
He'll make you make up your own religion
and somehow thinks that you're on the right
path and everybody else is wrong.
You're going to paradise.
He'll do all these things right and justify
it to you that you are in the
right.
In Islam we all know that boyfriend and
girlfriend are haram for example.
And boyfriend and girlfriend when I say it,
you know what I'm saying.
I'm not just saying like friend who is
a boy or a friend who is a
girl.
Boyfriend girlfriend as in they've got sexual intimacy
together.
And then if they break apart, he cheated
on me, she cheated on me, they betrayed
me, you broke my heart.
You never had a relationship really a legitimate
one to begin with.
I don't know what you're talking about.
So this is what the Shaitan comes in
and decorates it for you.
And then we forget.
Anyway brothers and sisters, this is sincerity and
honesty.
Meaning if Allah tells me something and it
may not fit my desire, I may not
like it.
Will I still follow it because Allah said
it?
Will I still accept it and love it
because Allah subhana wa ta'ala told me
and I know that he knows better than
me?
Or will I refuse it, reject it and
go against it and rebel like Iblis did?
Life is short.
So let us turn it into worship inshallah
and stay away as much as we can
from the haram and repent to Allah as
we can.
Brothers and sisters, let's move on with this
introduction.
Ikhlas, sincerity and honesty is the same way
as we saw Prophet Ibrahim alayhi salam.
Ikhlas and sincerity is your boat that will
save you in this world.
It is your savior.
Anything in your life that you go through,
if you can work into clearing your heart
and having true sincerity and honesty with Allah
and connect to him, nothing in this world
can harm you.
Nothing.
The Shaitan cannot get to you through your
parents, through your children, through your spouse, through
the people that are around you, through your
work, through your ups and downs, through your
poverty or through your richness or through your
health.
No way if you are sincere and honest
like the way Prophet Ibrahim alayhi salam's father
kicked him out of the house.
Prophet Abraham, his father kicked him out of
the house and he told him, get out
onto the street.
You're not allowed to stay here if you
continue to talk about this religion that you're
talking about.
And if you continue it and you stay
with me, I am going to stone you
with rocks until you die.
I will stone you, Ibrahim.
Absolute abuse in every sense of the word,
spiritual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse,
emotional abuse.
The father of Ibrahim alayhi salam.
And Ibrahim alayhi salam was only about 12
or 14 years old.
And then he replies, because he was sincere
and honest, he said to him, oh my
father, I will ask my lord to forgive
you.
I will ask my lord to forgive you.
He turned the situation into making dua for
his father.
He felt sorry for his father, for his
father's mistreatment of him.
Can you do that?
To hit the floor, to go to the
floor in sujood, prostration and say, oh Allah,
guide my father, guide my mother, guide my
siblings, guide my grandparents, guide my uncles and
aunts.
He turned it around and he rose above
it.
But at the same time, he was hurt
by his father tremendously.
Yet, when he spoke to his father, he
did not speak to his father rudely or
disrespectfully, but he opposed what his father said,
disagreed with what his father said, verbally spoke,
but did not disrespect.
You can talk with disrespect and oppose, and
you can oppose while still respecting.
I can talk to you by disagreeing with
you and voicing my opinion, but without disrespecting
you and disrespecting myself.
There's a way to do it.
Or I can say the exact same thing
to you, still oppose you, still voice my
opinion, but attach with it disrespect and rudeness
and disrespect myself and you.
Can't I do that?
Which one does a Muslim prefer?
Ibrahim A.S. knew his father, he cannot
do that, and he won't do that.
And he walked away and said one thing,
my Lord, he's with me, he will never
leave me.
And this is called Ikhlas, sincerity and honesty
and loyalty to Allah.
Or it's like the Ikhlas and sincerity of
Prophet Yusuf, Yusuf A.S., which part, when
the wife of the master, the treasurer of
Egypt, who made him a slave, the wife
of the master, she was a well-known,
wealthy, important, powerful, beautiful woman who seduced him
and locked the doors and told him to
Yusuf, do as you wish, I'm all yours,
nobody can see.
And the one who has more to lose
or everything to lose is the woman, her
power, her status, her reputation, her husband, her
everything, her dignity.
And this is a young man who is
a slave, nobody, not known, nobody cares about
him.
And he's locked in a room and she's
protecting him so that he can do all
the haram acts with her as he wishes
and pleases.
But he was sincere and honest to Allah
as well.
And then he immediately said, I seek Allah's
protection.
Never.
And Allah says, she fell for him with
her desires and he was almost about to
fall for her, for his desires, if he
hadn't known his Lord, if he hadn't known
the signs of his Lord, meaning known his
Lord.
That's called sincerity and honesty and fear of
Allah.
So much so that he ran away from
her and she ran after him and grabbed
his shirt from the back and ripped it,
pulling him back.
You all know the remainder of the story.
As a result, he ended up in prison
and he said, my Lord, the prison is
more beloved to me than what they're telling
me to do.
This is called sincerity and Ikhlas.
He ended up being the treasurer of Egypt
after that.
Allah made him rise.
Ibrahim alayhi salam, what did he become of
him as well?
And the third example of sincerity and honesty
is the Prophet, the other prophets had power,
kingdom and wealth.
Suleiman alayhi salam and Dawud alayhi salam.
They had the largest kingdom any prophet had
ever had or any person ever will have
in the future.
And yet they treated people with dignity, with
fairness.
They gave people their rights and they were
generous.
They didn't sit there oppressing people and turning
people into classes of hierarchies of rich and
poor and oppression.
No, they dealt with people and Dawud alayhi
salam used to make sure he made laws
about business transactions.
And there was a huge punishment for that.
And Yusuf alayhi salam, when he gave out
generosity, when he was a treasurer to the
poor and needy and he was generous, all
the prophets were like that.
So all of this was because of sincerity
and honesty to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
That wealth belongs to who?
It belongs to Allah.
Your body belongs to who?
Belongs to Allah.
And your parents and children belong to who?
They belong to Allah.
And so when you are sincere and honest
to Allah, you know all of this belongs
to Allah.
Therefore, they are a trust.
We have to look after them.
Which brings me now to the hadith of
the three men who were trapped in the
cave.
The hadith, my dear brothers and sisters, is
narrated in so many authentic books, Bukhari, Muslim,
Tirmidhi and others.
And you will find it, as I said,
on page 22, hadith number 12 of Riyad
al-Saliheen.
The long hadith is as follows.
The Prophet ﷺ said, Abdullah ibn Umar narrates
the hadith, he says, three men amongst those
who came before you set out until one
night came upon them.
As the night came upon them, they wanted
shelter.
So they went into a cave to sleep
the night away from the storm and the
rain.
When they awoke in the morning, they found
to their surprise that the entrance of the
cave was completely blocked by a huge rock
that had fallen because of a landslide blocked
them.
They were trapped inside, no way out.
They knew that if they had stayed there,
they were all going to die.
There's no way out.
They'll just starve to death.
So one of them said to the other
friends, these were people existed before the time
of the Prophet ﷺ.
One of them said to his friends, Wallahi,
we have no other hope except for each
one of us to sit in a corner
alone and secretly call upon Allah and mention
a very sincere and honest secret act of
goodness that they have done for the sake
of Allah truly and for no one else,
that no one else knows about except they
and Allah about their intentions and mentioned that
good deed in the hope that our Creator
will allow us to use that good deed
like a, you know, like a free card
to release us from this cave.
So the first one, obviously, how do we
know this?
The Prophet ﷺ was told by the angel
Jibril.
This is a secret.
Nobody knew it.
Jibril ﷺ told him about their intentions existed
a long time ago.
He said, the first one put his hands
up and secretly said, Oh Allah, I used
to be a farmer and I had sheep
and goats and I used to go and
graze them far away in the land.
I had a wife and children and two
elderly parents who were disabled or elderly parents
who are weak and I had a habit
every time I came back from looking after
my sheep before sunset, I would milk whatever
milk there is from their grazing of the
day and I would go and give my
parents milk before my wife and children and
before myself.
One day, there were no trees for my
sheep to graze in, so I had to
go further away, like maybe kilometers away.
He said, as a result, I returned back
and it was dark.
I went to do my usual act of
milking the the livestock that I had.
And when I came to see my parents,
I found they had gone to sleep.
So I didn't want to disturb them, to
wake them up.
You know, when you wake up people, they
get a little bit frightened or sometimes they
get into a bit of a distress.
He didn't want to cause his own parents
distress.
He was a very dutiful young man to
his parents.
He said, I stayed beside them carrying the
milk in my hand, waiting for them to
wake up.
And my children were hungry and they were
crying, but I refused.
I thought my parents are more important.
And then when they woke up, I gave
them the milk and then I fed my
children, my wife and myself.
Oh Allah, if you know that I did
this truly only for your sake and for
no other reason, then save us from this
cave.
After a little while, they noticed the rock
had moved a little bit, but not enough.
His good deeds weren't good enough.
The second person said, Oh Allah, I had
a cousin, a woman, a young cousin woman,
who I fell passionately in love with.
And my love for her grew me so
intense that I was obsessed with her.
So one day she fell in, there was
a famine and I had money.
So she came to me for help and
I gave her 120 dinars.
In exchange, I said, on condition that you
sleep with me.
Because of her destitution and everything and because
of hunger and all that, she accepted.
And then when I met with her in
private and I was about to do the
haram, she said to me a word, my
cousin, fear Allah and do not take me
except in the halal way.
He said, I feared Allah and something came
down into my heart of fear.
And even though I attempted for an obsessed
over, I left her for the sake of
Allah.
Oh Allah, if you knew that I did
that for your sake and honestly and truthfully
wholeheartedly, then save us from this cave.
The rock moved a little bit, but not
enough.
The third person said, Oh Allah, I had
a big business of livestock and farming.
And one day I hired some workers to
do a job.
And when they finished, I gave each one
their due.
And one of them, he said, don't worry,
I won't take it now.
I'll come another time.
So he left.
He said, he left and never came back
for years.
So I used his money to put it
back into the business and invest it.
And my wealth grew from his, from the
wealth that he put in.
He came back years later and said, I
would like my wage.
So I looked and I said, see everything
you see here in this section.
This was all the profit from your money
that I still owed you.
All of it is yours.
Take it or half of it or whatever.
And he said, are you mocking me?
You're going to give me all of that?
He says, Wallahi, I'm not mocking you.
This was from your money.
And he took it all and did not
leave one thing.
He said, Oh Allah, if you know that
I did that act only for your sake
and honestly save us from this cave.
Until finally the rock moved and Allah subhana
wa ta'ala saved them.
What does this hadith mean?
Let's go into a little bit.
The first one is the act of sincerity
and honesty.
They all did acts for the sake of
Allah and nobody knew about it.
If you want your act to be powerful
and to be accepted by Allah in the
highest degree, then do it in secret and
don't tell anyone about it and leave it
between you and Allah truly.
Number two, you are allowed to use your
acts of goodness, of righteousness as an intercessor
when you make dua.
Oh Allah, I believed in you.
Oh Allah, I prayed for you.
Oh Allah, I did this for someone.
If you know, I did it from my
heart.
Today I ask you for this.
Some people, they said to me, isn't this
like bargaining?
Isn't this like blackmail?
I said, subhanAllah, obviously people need to read
more and research more about the deen but
we live in a time where we do
have to explain a lot and that is
that they're not bargaining.
They're not doing anything.
Allah subhana wa ta'ala has given us
this good deed and he gave us rewards
for it and you can choose to use
a bit of it now and Allah will
take some of its rewards from the hereafter
and give you here and leave the rest
for the hereafter or Allah subhana wa ta
'ala will be merciful to you and allow
you to use it here and in the
hereafter.
He'll keep it for you.
Why?
Because Allah wants you to keep your connection
with Allah.
Allah wants you to know how merciful he
is.
He wants something that keeps you talking to
Allah back and forth.
Otherwise, if there's nothing, there's no real meaning.
So this is the relationship we have with
Allah subhana wa ta'ala.
It's through actions of good deeds that you
do for the sake of Allah and Allah
doesn't get anything out of it but it's
only for you.
So this is another thing.
Number three, very important.
Did you realize, brothers and sisters, that they
were friends?
That they went together?
Did you realize how they were good friends?
Did you realize how they remind each other
of Allah?
What does this tell you?
It tells you, brothers and sisters, the company
that you hang around with in this life,
the friends that you mostly hang around with,
will determine what kind of person you are,
what kind of deen you have, what kind
of hereafter you'll have, what kind of actions
you'll end up doing, the way you're going
to think and the way you're going to
act.
Friends influence friends.
There are some friends you can't get rid
of and there are some friends you can
limit your contact and there are some friends
you choose and you like to hang out
more.
Hang around with the friends that remind you
of Allah more.
The one who says to you, hey, I'll
call you, we'll go to masjid together, we'll
come to the class together.
If you do something wrong, they remind you.
If it's time for salah and you're out,
they say, let's go and pray.
If you're about to do something, say, no
bro, what are you doing?
We won't do that.
You want to go to a place where
it's not good, the friend says to you,
no bro, I'm not going to go there.
If they don't want to be your friend,
then help with them.
But a friend will say, mashallah, thank you
bro, wallah.
You know, every time I ask Allah, I
had a friend who used to say every
morning, used to say, oh Allah, let the
people you love be my company today.
And he says, it never failed.
Come to the masjid, meet people who remind
you of Allah.
So the friendship has an effect on your
worship and what happens to you.
These friends, because they were together, Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala assist them and help them.
Can you imagine one of them had no
good deeds and all he had was sins?
They would have stayed in the cave forever.
It needed all three.
Do you understand how friends affect friends spiritually
and worldly?
Also, we find the gathering, the gathering that
you choose to stay in has an effect
on you as well, spiritually, mentally, physically, and
with your heart and mind.
For example, the Prophet peace be upon him
said, Sahih Bukhari, any gathering which remembers Allah,
such as reading Quran, you find them making
dua, you find them doing dhikr, for example,
subhanallah, alhamdulillah.
They're sitting together, for example, they're remembering Allah,
you're sitting together as you are right now
here, we're learning about Allah, we're learning about
his deen.
Any kind of gathering like that, the angels
spread their wings and they encompass all of
you.
And anyone who comes in and sits at
the back somewhere, the Prophet peace be upon
him said, you are still part of that
gathering.
Anyone, whether they know the gathering or don't
know the gathering, they sit afar but they're
listening and they're with it, the Prophet peace
be upon him said, they also get a
share of the blessing.
The blessing reaches them, the angels also put
their wings around them.
And the Prophet peace be upon him also
said in the hadith which is agreed upon,
the similitude of a good company and that
of a bad company is like that of
the perfume seller and the bellows blower, meaning
like a blacksmith.
The blacksmith, he uses in the ancient times
a device, he used to blow air into
a furnace or fire.
So you can imagine it was stinking there,
there's fire, there's ashes, right?
But a perfume seller, Rasul peace be upon
him said, the similitude of good company and
bad company, good friends and bad friends, is
like a perfume seller and a blacksmith.
If you enter into a black, a perfume
seller shop, you're going to get one of
three benefits, no fourth.
The first benefit is that he will gift
you a sample of a perfume.
Or number two, he'll sell you perfume.
Or number three, you'll come out smelling nice
anyway.
The blacksmith however, there's nothing that you get
out of there.
Anything get out of there is fire and
even if you don't buy anything and come
out, you still smell and stink.
That's like good company and bad company, they
affect you in that way.
Have you ever seen someone where as soon
as you see them, they bring a smile
to you and they remind you of Allah?
As soon as you look at them, you
say, I don't know why, when I see
you, I feel peace in my heart.
Have you had a friend who tells you,
you know what bro or sister, every time
I'm with you, I have to walk away
with some kind of happiness, some kind of
new knowledge and my iman rises.
If you are a person who someone tells
you that, you should go and make sajdah
to Allah that he chose you for this.
That is the best thing that the sun
has ever risen upon.
Because Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, For Allah
to guide one person because of you is
better than what the sun has risen upon.
I ask Allah to make us among them.
My brothers and sisters, in this also shows
us turning to Allah confidently.
Don't turn to Allah half-heartedly.
Like when you call upon Allah, when you
sit in these gatherings, when you read Quran,
fully go confident with Allah.
And I recall a hadith which is in
Bukhari, Rasul Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was sitting in
the masjid when three men entered.
And he was giving a class, he was
talking and teaching the companions.
They were all sitting around close to him.
Three men entered.
One of them found a gap and he
sat close to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
within the gap.
The other man got a bit shy, so
he sat a little bit of a distance.
The third man, he left.
Rasul Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam after this talk, he
said, Do you remember the three men that
entered?
They said, Yes, Rasulullah.
He said, The first one, he came closer
to Allah, so Allah came closer to him.
He accepted him the most.
The second man, he got a bit shy,
so Allah got shy of him too.
But he still included him.
But it's a degree less.
So the closer you are to the gathering,
the better.
The third man, he turned.
He turned his back to Allah, so Allah
turned away from him.
He didn't get anything.
So don't think that if you enter in
as a gathering, you walk away thinking, No,
they don't want me here.
I don't belong here.
I'm not religious enough.
Then you've turned away from Allah because Allah
doesn't say that about you.
Allah wants all of you.
Allah favours everybody.
And Allah says, He does not look at
your bodies or your shapes or your figures
or your gender or your face, but He
looks at your heart and then your actions.
Allah looks at our hearts and then our
actions.
So how do you want your heart to
be presented to Allah?
So turn to Allah with confidence always.
We come to the next part.
The first man mentioned his parents.
He was standing there.
And the first question I think some of
you might be asking, he was standing with
the bucket of milk.
His kids were crying, but he won't give
them.
He has to wait for his parents.
Is that fair?
We get this type of question in the
West all the time.
So I'm going to answer that.
It is more appropriate and the sunnah to
feed your children and your wife first before
your parents if both of them are hungry.
Because the Rasulullah ﷺ said, وَابْدَأْ بِمَنْ تَعُولِ
The hadith is authentic.
Begin with those who are dependent on you.
Why?
Because your children, they can't go anywhere else
and your wife is upon you.
But this man understood it the way he
understood it.
He understood, I've always had this particular habit.
And my entire family and children knew that
this is the system I go on.
I feed my parents first, then my children.
That's the first answer.
The second answer is that his children were
not neglected.
So yeah, they were hungry, but not starving.
So they had food, but they wanted the
milk.
So he didn't neglect his children or his
wife.
That's number two.
And number three, perhaps the man did not
know that in his time, because it was
before the time of the Rasulullah ﷺ, that
his dependents, he could have given them first
and then waited for his parents.
And the fourth answer is, do you see
how the rock, we said it moved only
a little bit?
Maybe he could have done this act better,
maybe give his children and his wife and
then wait for his parents.
And maybe the rock would move even more.
So knowing more about your Deen also produces
greater acts of worship that have more value.
Knowing less about your Deen will make the
action a little bit less too.
So if you want to do your Salah
better, learn how to do a Salah better.
If you want to give charity, learn how
to give charity better.
If you want to do business in Halal,
learn how to do it better.
And your rewards will go further, inshallah.
So anyway, that was the answer.
And this shows us this very important core
of our values in Islam.
And that is the dutifulness and goodness to
our parents.
Allah says in the Qur'an, Allah
says, Don't
do that.
That's bad.
Or, far out.
This or that.
Every time me, go and tell my brother,
tell my sister, no, no, can't talk to
your parents like that.
Why always me?
It's not fair.
We all fall into these problems.
Remember what I told you before, you can
disagree with your parents if you have a
right, but with respect.
And at the end of the day, birr,
birr means to be dutiful to your parents.
It's the opposite of arrogance.
Birr is the opposite of arrogance and rebellion.
So we shouldn't stomp our feet walking away
from our, far out, slam the door, hit
the table, say things about our parents.
Oh, what about you?
I didn't tell you to give birth to
me.
All is talk.
But Sheikh, what if, what if, what if.
I know there's a lot of what ifs.
When I talk about parents' rights, I get
a lot of youngsters that tell me, what
if, what if, what if, what if.
And some of them get very angry.
When I talk about children's rights, the children
get happy and the parents say, what if,
what if, what if, what if, what if,
what if, you're making our children rebellious against
us.
What am I supposed to do?
We need to balance it.
Parents have a right and children have a
right.
Allah will question the parents, how they treated
their children.
And the children, Allah will question them, how
they treated their parents.
Allah will not mix them up.
Allah will not question you if your parents
did wrong by you.
He will reward you for your patience, perseverance
and your hurt.
And He will question your parents and even
punish them if they wronged you.
But if you wronged your parents, Allah will
not punish them, He will punish you.
And our parents, even if they are bad
character and they don't give us our rights,
we still owe them the childhood right when
they gave birth to us.
And that is why Rasul Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam,
he answered the companion saying, who has more
right of my companionship in life?
He said, your mother.
He said, who then?
He said, then your mother.
He said, who then?
He said, then your mother.
He said, who then?
He said, then your father.
Why did Rasul Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam say mother
three times?
Don't confuse it.
He's not saying you should love your mother
more than your father.
Nor is he saying love your father more
than your mother.
It has nothing to do with love.
It has nothing to do with your feelings.
You can't control your feelings.
The meaning of that hadith is, the scholars
told us, that because the mother carried you
in her womb for nine months, you owe
her for that.
But your father didn't.
Number two, when your mother gave birth to
you in labour, you owe her for that
pain and struggle.
Your father didn't go through that.
And number three, when she breastfed you and
weaned you while she was in postnatal situation
and breastfeeding you until one year or two
years or whatever it is, and so the
dutifulness is owed for her for that.
Your father did not breastfeed you, of course.
So these are three rights your mother has
more than your father.
As for the fourth right, Rasulullah said, then
your father, meaning your father and your mother
from then on, from that two years of
breastfeeding onwards, they are equal.
So another thing the scholars said was that
the mother is generally considered to be less,
have less advantages in life than your father.
Such as, for example, physical strength, such as
because she gives childbirth, she has less advantages,
she has disadvantages than your father to look
after herself in a rough world.
So he said, you as a child compensate
that for your mother three times more than
your father.
And that is the real meaning of it.
Of course there are exceptions.
Sometimes the father may be a man of
disability and your mother could be very strong.
So who is in need of you more
than your father?
So it is relative but at the same
time, in general, normal cases, this is what
it means.
It does not mean that if you got
married and then your wife has a right
and then your mother comes and tells you,
no, no, you should be your mother, your
mother, your mother, and then she tells you
to do things that violate the right of
your wife or your children that you have
to listen to her.
No.
That is wrong because Allah will not tell
you to be so dutiful to your parents
to the point where he tips the balance.
To the point where Allah tells you to
be so good to your parents that it
means at the expense of other people's rights.
For example, if your mother or father told
you go and steal because Allah said listen
to your parents.
Do you listen to them?
What if they recited the verse of the
Quran and to be dutiful to your parents,
should you listen to them to go and
steal?
No.
What if your parents told you that you
need to take the money from your wife
and give it to them?
Do you listen to them?
No.
What if they told you you have to
obey your parents?
No, not in that case.
Not at the expense of someone else's rights.
That's her wealth.
What if your parents told you you must
put your children, feed them 1, 2, 3
or dress them 1, 2, 3?
So long as it's not a religious case,
if it's not something haram that you're doing.
For example, if you're being violent to your
children and your parents said don't do it,
then you've got two problems.
You've got to listen to your parents about
it and you're violating Allah's command.
But if your children dress them a certain
way, feed them a certain way, and your
parents demand, you must listen to us.
Do you listen to them?
You have an option to listen to them,
but you don't have to.
And it's not a violation of your parents'
rights.
The violation of your parents' rights is when
it's something got to do between you and
them.
You and them.
A service for them directly.
So for example, if they're hungry, then you
feed them.
If they need some wealth, you give them
from your own, from your own surplus wealth.
If they need you, take them to the
doctors.
You take them to the doctors.
Make an appointment.
Call someone for them.
You call.
They're afraid.
They want someone to sleep over.
You sleep over.
They grow old in age.
You've got siblings.
You rotate.
Each one comes and sleeps at his mum
and dad's house.
Or mum's house.
Or dad's house.
So these things, you.
But not at the expense of someone else.
Everyone else, it's up to them.
Your wife, for example, or your husband.
Husband, for example, wants to serve your parents.
That's up to him.
Your wife wants to serve your parents.
That's up to her.
But we encourage the husband and wife to
work together in helping each other's parents.
Because that's what marriage is based on.
It's based on mawadda.
Mawadda means love and mercy.
Mawadda and rahma.
A lot of Muslims I see, when it
comes to family, marriage especially.
Marriage.
They focus too much on rights and duties.
What did Allah say exactly?
Is that your right?
No.
That's my right.
That's your duty.
That's my duty.
No.
Marriage and relationships should not be based on
rights and duties.
Rights and duties are in the Qur'an
and Sunnah for one purpose.
Who knows what that purpose is?
What are the purposes of Allah putting rights
and duties between husband and wife and parents
and children?
What are the rights and duties there for?
Halal.
Halal means permissible.
So there are many things permissible.
But Habibi, rights and duties are compulsory.
They're there in order to resolve conflicts.
Conflicts.
In order, conflicts.
So when you conflict and disagree, then we
look at the rights.
Okay, what are the rights?
But if there's no conflict, what should you
be doing?
Should we do more than the duties?
More than the rights?
Any person gives up some of their rights.
You don't stick like as if there's a
business transaction, there's a contract of sale and
this is my area, that's your area.
That's like two people living, sharing the same
room or in a business, sharing a house
or something.
Your profit, my profit.
Relationships and love is not based on rights
and duties.
It is based on love and mercy, meaning
give up some of your rights, do more
than your duties.
Help your wife.
Wife helps her husband.
You give more from your wealth.
The wife gives from her wealth.
You help her parents.
She helps your parents.
Life is about helping one another.
That's how love grows.
I've never seen love grows when people just
think about rights and duties.
You get actually hard hearted with that.
People fight all the time.
They come to me and say, Sheikh, can
you tell us, is my wife in the
right or I'm in the right?
Is my husband in the right?
I just want to know.
Habib, don't come to me just so that
you can use me to get back at
someone.
Just say, he's wrong.
See, I told you all my life you've
been like this and now Allah sent me
this Sheikh to tell you.
Allah revealed it.
What are you guys doing?
Do you want reconciliation or is this a
fight?
If that's how you want to live your
life always, no, that's not a marriage.
That's a toxic marriage.
And the children will learn from you.
So, we went on a tangent with this
one.
But it is important that when we talk
about dutifulness and goodness my dear brothers and
sisters, it's based on means to do good
for someone and not remind them of what
they owe you.
Nobody owes you anything.
You do it for the sake of Allah.
Allah says, وَمَا تُقَدِّمُوا لِأَنفُسِكُمْ مِنْ خَيْرٍ تَجِدُوهُ
عَنْدَ اللَّهِ Whatever goodness you put forth is
for yourselves and you will find its reward
with Allah.
Sometimes I have children, they'll say to me,
my parents did not do this or that
for me.
I say to them, so?
Allah will question them, but what about you?
Because I keep doing good for them.
I go, you're doing good for them so
that they can reward you?
Or do you want your reward from Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala?
When they say I want my reward from
Allah, I say, then Allah is the biggest,
don't you ever worry.
Keep doing good for the sake of Allah.
For the sake of Allah, for yourself.
And you know what happens is that it
has a ripple effect.
The people you marry, the children you have,
they will learn from your character.
Would you believe that if you developed a
behavior pattern from childhood, and then you have
a child, there are evidence-based studies that
have shown that children inherit some of your
behavior.
So why don't you learn to make your
behavior better?
And you will see its effect in the
future inshallah.
That's what patience means.
Of course it doesn't mean that we put
our head down and get abused, no.
You speak up, you voice your opinion, but
as I said, with respect.
You don't have to be at the level
of the other person.
I once gave a talk about how parents
can lose their children with four or five
different bad characteristics.
Meaning, lose their hearts.
Lose their good impression of their parents.
Some of them will even hate their parents
based on how they treat them.
But it does not justify us mistreating our
parents.
There's no revenge.
We don't say, I'm going to get my
dad back, I'm going to get my mum
back.
No, don't do that.
With parents, you can't.
But avoid their harm if you can.
Now we'll talk a little bit about that.
So, brothers and sisters, the dutiful to the
parents in normal circumstances, where the majority of
people are like that, is a must upon
us.
And disrespecting them is a major sin.
Some people hit their parents.
Some people bash their parents.
وَلَا يَعْذُبِ اللَّهُ I hear a lot of,
I've heard teenagers how they swear at their
parents.
And then they say, well, it's their fault.
They mistreat me.
You should hear them.
They swear at everybody else.
If it wasn't for their upbringing, I wouldn't
be swearing today.
Remember Iblis when he said, Oh God, because
this is how you made me go astray.
We need to blame everybody.
No, no, no.
Brothers and sisters, just because if a parent
is bad, it doesn't mean you need to
be bad.
If a parent mistreated you, it doesn't mean
you should mistreat them and mistreat others.
Your parents are a test.
And you are a test for them.
And at the same time, brothers and sisters,
you never know that maybe your parents could
be the reason for you to enter Paradise
because you were too patient, or you were
persevering, or you were able to work around
it.
And you have the ability to change this
cycle when you get older and get married
and have children of your own Inshallah.
Otherwise the cycle continues.
Not everything bad that happens to us in
our life is necessarily really bad forever.
It will end sometime.
And Inshallah good will come out of it
if you think of it properly.
There's a poem in Arabic that says, I
learnt about all the bad things, not because
I wanted to do the bad things, but
so that because if you don't know the
bad from the good, then you're going to
fall into the bad.
So you knew now what's bad, change it.
Inshallah.
But at the same time, there are some
parents who are completely unbearable.
They are violent to the point where the
person truly is in danger.
They can abuse to the point where the
person is truly in danger.
Several times in my life I've had young
people call me to pick them up from
a food store, or from the park, or
from a shopping centre, or from around the
corner because they ran away from home, and
when I come to pick them up, they've
got a * nose, they've got scratched faces,
they're ripped apart, clothes, and subhanallah, they did
nothing to their parents, but they have parents
who are tremendously abusive.
There are those people like that.
But that's an exception, my dear brothers and
sisters, not everybody.
And then I had teenagers who think that
their parents are abusive, but they're not.
And this is the majority of the cases,
by the way.
I don't know how some of them interpret
it their own way, and they also diagnose
their parents narcissists, they say it's their narcissist,
sometimes they use the word toxic, sometimes they
are toxic.
But I think some teenagers don't know how
to differentiate between what is toxic and what's
not.
And being a narcissist, you need to be
diagnosed by a psychiatrist or a psychologist.
You don't just call people narcissists.
Some people do have traits of narcissism, it
doesn't mean they're a narcissist, that's a big,
big word.
But I think because of hurt and pain,
we say that.
My brothers and sisters, in Islam, it doesn't
force you to stand in the way of
danger.
I don't want to say too many stories,
because I don't like, we're in a masjid,
I don't like to say bad stories and
hang our dirty laundry out.
But, there are people who are truly in
a toxic relationship with their parents.
And some parents truly are that bad.
They can be violent physically, they can be
violent spiritually, using religion to be violent to
them, to take away their right.
They can be verbally violent, they can be
mentally violent, and astaghfirullah, I've even heard of
some of them go even beyond that and
further, to be severely inappropriately violent or abusive.
We have children here, I don't want to
use big, you know, strange words or inappropriate
words.
But it happens.
It happens.
And I believe that a lot of it
is owed to the inappropriate industries online.
You know what I'm talking about.
The inappropriate images and videos, things that people
are addicted to, which makes them even become
abusive in that way to their own family
members.
Their own children.
So this can happen.
What do we say in that case?
Do we tell them no, be dutiful to
your parents, respect them, stay with them, just
be patient?
No, we're not going to say that.
Never.
We say you've got to move away and
seek assistance and protection from someone in the
family or whoever.
And then slowly work on healing, inshallah.
But other than that, normal situations where there's
anger, there's ups and downs, there's all of
that stuff, we don't cut off our parents,
brothers and sisters.
If there's danger, if it's too toxic, a
person, if they're old enough, you can limit,
you can sort of move away a little
bit, but not completely.
The idea is to work around it.
You can avoid the situations that make you
go into fight with them.
You can try to change the way you
talk.
Maybe limit the contact where if you know
there's too much fighting happening.
Maybe change your language.
I had people who had a very bad
relationship with their parents, but subhanallah, after sitting
down with for a while, we found out
ways of how to work around it.
I know a brother whose parents disowned, but
there's no such thing as disowning your child.
You can't disown, they're still your child.
But some parents said, we don't want to
see you ever again.
And after I spoke to him, I said
to him, how long haven't you seen your
parents?
He said, about four months.
He says, have they called you?
No.
I said, why haven't they called you?
He said, I'm not going to call them
until they call me.
I said, your parents are not like you.
Don't think they're like your friends at school.
They're not going to call you.
You have to initiate.
He goes, what for?
They did this and it was that.
And his parents were in the wrong, but
not over something as dangerous.
It's something that won't matter in five years'
time.
Who cares?
But sometimes we make it big in our
heads.
Maybe because he loves them so much, he
didn't expect that.
So what did I tell him, do you
think?
I said, tomorrow or even tonight, you grab
your car, wherever he was, I said, you
go to their house, you knock on their
door, and you enter the house.
He said, but they'll reject me.
I said, I don't care if they reject
you.
You're going to walk in, you're going to
hug your mum, if your dad there, you're
going to hug him, you're going to sit
down in the couch, you're going to go
to the fridge, you're going to get food
out and you're going to eat.
And whatever they say, keep smiling and hugging
them, say, I love you mum and dad.
You can call the police to get me
out of the home.
This is my home, I'm your child.
What can you do?
I'm always your child.
And smile and talk.
And if you have to say sorry, say,
I'm sorry.
He says, but I didn't do anything wrong.
He says, so what?
Say, I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings
mum and dad, I haven't called you.
So what?
And he did it.
He did it.
And Alhamdulillah, it worked perfectly.
Yeah, his mum said a few words, he
kept his cool, and in the end they
hugged and kissed it out.
And then, you know, his father comes in
and then, what's going on?
He hugged him and, Khaled's dad, it's over.
He goes, okay, let's eat breakfast.
It was over.
Sometimes, it's just that shaitan doesn't want you
to have contact.
So double up.
Go and say, I'm your son now, I
love you.
Say it with anger.
Say, I love you.
So brothers and sisters, this is, of course,
some situations, but in general, I ask Allah
subhana wa ta'ala to assist those who
are going through a very tough time with
their families.
And may Allah subhana wa ta'ala guide
the parents who are mistreating their children.
And may Allah subhana wa ta'ala guide
the children who are mistreating their parents.
Allah, just go and do something nice for
them tonight.
Give them a call.
Keep them in contact.
You know, one brother, he said to me,
my mother always, you know, tells me impossible
things.
And she's always wrong.
I said, doesn't matter.
Say, you're right, mum.
And give her a kiss on the forehead.
And if she says stop it, you just
give her a kiss and say, I disagree
with you, mum, but I love you so
much.
Why don't you talk like that maybe?
No, I can't do it.
I've got to work on it, man.
It can work, inshaAllah.
It can work.
With the exceptions, of course.
We move on to the second one.
The second man said, ya Rabb, I had
a cousin who I was addicted to and
I wanted to have * with her.
And she said, fear Allah, and I moved
away.
What do we learn from that?
We learn that if you stay away from
something haram, it turns into worship.
And you can use it in your du
'a as an act of goodness that Allah
will look at you favourably.
You might say, but I'm the one, it
was my desire.
But you stopped yourself from your desires.
A friend gives you a call and says,
let's come over.
She's here.
You get into your car, yeah, and you
pump up the music and you want to
go there and meet her.
And then suddenly along the way you reach
and you go, what am I doing?
Astaghfirullah al-azim.
Astaghfirullah.
A'udhu billah.
And you go back home.
That is going to be in your scale
of good deeds.
That's a tremendous, tremendous achievement.
Especially if you're young.
You fought your desires and your temptations.
It's not easy to move away from these
types of temptations.
I just gave you one example.
There are many different examples.
And remember Rasul ﷺ, he said, the seven
who will be shaded under Allah's shade on
a day of judgement, there will be no
other shade but his.
Allah says, and a person or a man
or a woman, so he's a man here,
a man whom a woman with status and
beauty invites him to the bed, and then
he says, I fear Allah.
This also goes for a woman, who a
man of status and attractiveness calls a woman
to bed and she says, I fear Allah.
Some people might say, what if they're not
attractive and not people of status?
The idea is, anyone who tempts you.
That's the idea.
And the more intense it is, and the
more you stay away from it, the better
the reward is.
And the less intense it is, and the
more you stay away from it, the less
the reward is, but the more you do
it, the bigger the sin is.
I don't want people saying, oh, so I
should go for someone who's unattractive, the sin
is less.
Sorry, the moving away from it, the reward
is less.
Maybe I should go and look for an
attractive woman and then say, I fear Allah.
You can't do that.
The shaytan will make you go.
One brother, he said, bro, I did, you
know, I heard about this hadith, and I
contacted this woman I was going to contact
because she tempts me, and then we met,
and when we met, I said, I fear
Allah, and I walked away.
He said, you planned it against the shaytan,
did you?
You planned it.
You're trying to play tricks here, are you?
You can't do that.
You don't do all that plan.
That plan was all sinful.
Because I want to be under the shade
of Allah.
Habibi, you're so cute.
That's not the way to do it.
And the last one, he made the dua
about, he has a business and he held
on to the money, the wage, and he
invested it, and it grew, and he gave
him the profit.
And this, my dear brothers and sisters, is
in the Quran where Allah says, Allah praises
the believers who, when they make a contract
or an agreement, they stick to it.
The Prophet ﷺ said, المسلمون على شروطهم Muslims
and believers must stick to their agreements and
contracts.
You make a promise with someone, you make
a contract or an agreement of business or
money or anything, and then afterwards you go
and break the terms of the contract, that's
not a true believer.
What Rasul ﷺ also told us, the hadith
is in Bukhari and Muslim, he says, when
two people buy or do trade together, they
can still move away so long as they
have not agreed and moved away.
So if you agree on a sale and
then you're both gone, then the agreement has
to happen, you have to buy and sell.
But if you haven't moved away, then you
can still change your mind.
Then he said, but if they, if one
of them breaks the agreement after they have
left, then, or both of them break it,
if one of them breaks, sorry, he says,
sorry about that, if one of them lied
about something, or they hid a fault, or
they lied about an agreement, then their trade
will be unblessed, there will be no barakah
in it.
Similar when somebody sells something and you lie
about the product to the person who's going
to buy it and you deceive them, then
your wealth is not blessed.
And Rasulullah he warned us that businessmen who
lie to make a fraudulent deal, or use
Allah's name by making oaths to lie about
a trade, say, wallah it's a good car,
wallah it's only done that many k's, wallah
it's like this, wallah I've done it, wallah
wallah wallah wallah wallah, or they lie about
something, a fault in it and they've hidden
it, in order to deceive the buyer or
the person they trade with, Rasulullah said there
will be a tyrant on the day of
judgment, they will be gathered with the tyrants
on the day of judgment, which is a
major sin.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala praises the honest,
trustworthy businessmen and tradespeople and people and it's
not just businessmen, people who do a job,
let's say you're an electrician or a plumber
or whatever you are, you're a mechanic, you're
a tradesperson who sells or invests, you're a
real estate agent, you're a car salesman, you're
a doctor, you're a teacher, you're a lawyer,
whatever you are, any kind of transaction between
people, brothers and sisters, lying, deceiving, manipulating, hiding
the faults, is a major sin.
And your wealth will not have barakah, it
will not be blessed.
So my dear brothers and sisters, there is
a weak hadith, but some scholars said it
is acceptable, he said, honest businessmen practicing believing,
honest businessmen or people who go into a
transaction will be gathered around the prophets and
highest rank of righteous people on the day
of judgment.
Although this hadith is weak, there are several
different narrations that make it stronger, and anyway,
the meaning is true.
So let us look at how many trades
or how many agreements we have done before
and which ones we lied about, which ones
were we honest about, which ones did we
hide things, which ones did we deceive, which
ones were fraudulent.
My dear brothers and sisters, fear Allah with
your wealth.
Your wealth belongs to who?
To Allah.
And anyone who looks after the wealth that
Allah has given them, Allah will give it
barakah, blessings for you, your children, your wife,
your family, your house, everything.
So fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in
your temptations and your body.
Fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in your
parents and your children and family.
Fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala with your
wealth and your agreements and contracts with people.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you
and bless your hearts.
The questioner is asking, if you make du
'a and it doesn't happen for you, should
you be content that it didn't happen or
should you continue to make du'a forever?
The answer is there's nothing, there's no harm
in stopping making du'a.
Rasul Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he said, Alihu fi
du'a.
Alihu means be consistent, don't give up.
But how do you continue doing it?
You don't have to do it every night,
every day and then become fixated on that
du'a.
Some people they become a little bit overboard,
they get a bit obsessed with it.
Right?
So what you got to do is you
got to do it with respect while having
adab, manners with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So what it means is to continuously do
it every week, every Friday, every two days,
whenever you remember it, in your sujood, continue
to ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
But in the meantime, listen carefully, in the
meantime, if what you have asked for specifically
has not happened yet, in the meantime, be
patient and be content and say to yourself,
number one, maybe it has not happened yet
because Allah knows that it is not the
good time yet.
Or you can say, maybe it hasn't happened
yet because Allah may or may not give
it to me at all, may or may
not.
Which means, he's going to do something else
for me.
Which is either he's going to ward off
a harm or replace it with something better.
But continue your du'a because guess what,
you don't know when is a good time
or whether it's warded off.
Always make the du'a.
But some people they want to make a
du'a for the impossible.
We once gave a talk here about Allah
says And then it goes on by saying
call upon your lord with fear and tranquility
and peace and belief and do not raise
your voice too high.
Silently do it.
And then Allah says in the day and
in the night, Allah then says but do
not transgress in your du'a.
Meaning, don't ask for things that are impossible
or haram.
For example, you might say marriage.
Oh Allah, give me so and so.
My lord, grant me so and so as
a husband.
My lord, grant me so and so as
a husband.
It hasn't happened.
Next minute you hear that he got engaged.
My lord, cut off his engagement.
Cut off his engagement.
Cut off his engagement.
You can't ask that du'a.
You can't ask that du'a.
Or he gets married.
My lord, get them to divorce.
Get them to divorce.
You can't ask that du'a.
And then you continue.
Oh Allah, make him my husband.
Make him my husband.
Khalas.
That's it.
He's married.
So, this is the type.
So, you understand what I'm saying.
Other than that, if it's something you know,
anything else you're asking that is obviously clearly
just still there, then inshallah, no harm in
making that du'a.
I hope that answers your question.
So, the first part of the question is
regarding sincerity.
Sometimes we don't do something or we do
something out of fear of Judgment Day and
Allah's punishment.
And sometimes we do it out of what?
Out of out of insincerity.
Okay.
So, the first part of the question, if
we do something out of fear of Allah
on Judgment Day, it's still an accepted, inshallah,
still a valid and accepted act.
So, Allah subhana wa ta'ala says to
worship Allah out of fear and hope.
So, out of fearing Allah subhana wa ta
'ala's punishment is an act of worship.
That is sincere because you believe that Allah
will judge you.
So, you fear His punishment.
The fact that you believe that means you
are doing it for His sake.
You are doing it because of that.
But it's not advisable to do it because
of the punishment because now what you're doing
is it does lessen the rewards.
It lessens the rewards if you don't also
have hope in Allah because Allah subhana wa
ta'ala says in the Hadith al-Qudsi,
I am at my servant's assumption of me.
So, what we've got to do is we
can't assume of Allah subhana wa ta'ala
punishment, punishment, punishment, punishment.
If you're a believer and you pray to
Allah, then you have to have hope.
Because look what Allah tells you to say
when you first start your salat, for example.
Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen
ar-Rahman ar-Rahim You mention His name
ar-Rahman the most merciful ar-Rahim, the
especially merciful twice.
Because Allah wants to send a message to
you to say, have hope.
Fear is when you're doing something wrong or
you're subjected to a temptation and you fear
Allah.
But worshipping Allah when you're praying, for example,
out of hope and fear is sincere worship.
Had you not believed in Allah, you will
not fear Him.
You will not have hope in Him.
You will not fear His punishment nor desire
His paradise.
As for insincerity, it is when you pray
for a material gain only.
Or you pray or you do an act
of worship because you want some kind of
benefit.
Or you're doing it in order to show
off in front of people.
If you do it half-half like I
come to pray and then I'm doing it
and then suddenly I see people watching me,
for example, and then I make my prayer
better to impress the people and that's my
intention impress the people but also impress Allah
at the same time, then your rewards go
down.
It's called it's kind of a react which
means to show off your worship.
But if you show off your worship completely
for the sake of people or for material
gain, then your entire worship is destroyed.
That's what insincerity means.
My last words some people say always okay,
all this talk about dua and that Allah
will save us and so on, how come
the Palestinians are making dua night and day
and have done so many good deeds and
Allah doesn't save them.
This is wallahi a question that only Allah
can answer and I'll say it only in
few words, brothers and sisters.
When you ask a personal dua that's between
you and Allah for something for yourself and
you mention a good deed, there are less
factors and less variables in your dua.
But when you talk about a land that
has been occupied and oppressed and people are
being killed that is a little bit different.
Allah does respond to every individual Palestinian.
You don't worry about that.
Allah knows what to give who and where
and what.
But if you're looking for some kind of
victory or that Allah sends lightning or angels
down and take them out, it doesn't work
that way.
There are too many variables to think about.
For example, Allah tells us in the Quran,
and what is wrong with you that you
do not fight in the cause of Allah
when the weak among the children and the
widows and the old men and everyone in
the land are saying, Oh our Lord, take
us out of this land whose people are
the oppressive ones, meaning relieve us from this.
What is it connected to?
The Ummah waking up and saving them.
Allah SWT also says, وَأَعِدُ لَهُم مَّا اسْتَطَعْتُم
مِّن قُوَّةٍ وَمِن رِبَاطِ الْخَيْلِ You must prepare
yourselves of any kind of strength and resources
that you can muster in order to defeat
a powerful enemy.
Where is the preparation?
For example, there are so many variables that
if Allah were to do exactly what we're
asking, exactly as it is, there are other
things that come into play.
So there is a wisdom from Allah and
inevitably inevitably victory in the way of Allah
SWT will inevitably come.
And there are so many hadiths and ayat
that talk about it.
But right now, we continue to make dua.
We continue to not give up on Allah.
We continue to be righteous and believers of
Allah SWT until He takes our life.
And Allah will not ask you, why didn't
you change the world?
Allah will ask you, why didn't you change
yourself and those that were entrusted to you.
May Allah SWT preserve you, forgive our sins
and our shortcomings.
May Allah SWT lift our ranks among the
righteous and give us mercy.
May Allah SWT keep our families, our spouses,
our parents and children steadfast.
May Allah SWT bring death to us while
we are in a state of belief and
upon good deeds.